I’m shocked. I’m saddened. It’s all over, kids.

Astroworld is gone.

Actually, the Dexter Freebish rollercoaster was gone a long time ago. That’s just me showing my age. I remember in middle school, my sister (home from college) took me and my friends to Astroworld, and left us to ride the Freebish over and over again. The Dexter Freebish was a smaller rollercoaster, but it had plenty of thrills - including the infamous “pole of death” that the track swung tightly around at full speed. That pole looked like it was going to rip your head off, no matter how many times you rode the Freebish. It was also an excuse not to stand in line for the truly terrifying Texas Cyclone. For a while, at least. Of course, peer pressure and sheer curiosity would get the better of us that day, and soon enough we were on the Cyclone, screaming our lungs out and praying for a quick death.

Later that day, it rained. Hard. Astroworld sorta cleared out as all the moms with kids ran for the train back to the parking lot. My sister was with her friends, and I was with mine, with no plans to reconnect and head to the parking lot until dark. We saw another opportunity to stare death in the face on the Cyclone. As we ran up the ramps, now completely empty of the long lines of parents with despair-ridden faces, we saw that we would only have to wait for 3 or 4 more groups until we could ride again. We were so excited, bragging about how we were going to hold our hands up the entire time, spit in the air, etc. And then… it happened. People still give me a look of disbelief when I occasionally tell this story, but I swear to you - it really did happen.

The Cyclone was a gravity-driven old-school wooden coaster. No magnetic tracks dragging this thing to full speed. It got to full speed (and stayed there!) because of the high first hill, and the well designed additional rises and drops. Well, after all of that rain, the tracks must have been slick - and the operators knew it. They were sending an Astroworld employee in the last car of every group. And while we were standing there, we saw why. After the first few hills, as the coaster would come up to the slow, wide, high arch on it’s farthest edge - it would slow to a complete stop. And this Astroworld guy would *GET OUT OF THE ROLLERCOASTER and walk along the platform next to the track, while pushing the train of cars forward*. He’d watch for the first car to start moving down the incline, and then he’d *JUMP BACK INTO THE ROLLERCOASTER and ride it to the other side*. He had to do it twice for every run. We saw him do it. Four times (2 runs), and then it was out turn. We watched him do it for the first side of our run, but he didn’t have to do it on the far side - we maintained our speed. I don’t know who that kid was, but they were NOT paying him enough money!